i have discovered...

i have discovered that pablo neruda is one of the greatest poets to have ever existed. for example:

sonnet VIII
if your eyes were not the color of the moon,
of a day full [here, interrupted by the baby waking -- continued about 26
hours later ]
of a day full of clay, and work, and fire,
if even held-in you did not move in agile grace like the air,
if you were not an amber week,

not the yellow moment
when autumn climbs up through the vines;
if you were not that bread the fragrant moon
kneads, sprinkling its flour across the sky,

oh, my dearest, i could not love you so!
but when i hold you i hold everything that is --
sand, time, the tree of the rain,

everything is alive so that i can be alive:
without moving i can see it all:
in your life i see everything that lives.

are you even serious with those last three lines? my heart explodes. i am nothing. i am everything. i posted my favorite poem of his a while back called 'if you forget me'... as such-

everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

read it. i read his words to remind myself that there are human beings who have loved so deeply that this kind of beauty comes spewing out of them; and i long for it to spew out of me.

i have discovered that music and solitude can make me forget how small i am compared to the whole rest of the world.

i have discovered that edamame is one of the greatest and best things to eat. at all times. on any occasion. yay for soy beans.

i have discovered rooftop nights in the summer drinking beer and smoking cloves with timmy to be one of the most fun activities this side of heaven. ok. i can think of a few other things that are just as fun.

i have discovered that trying to come back to life requires good people and more beauty than my pathetic soul can handle. this also includes beers on stoops, laughing, cameras- of all kinds, birds flying, and otter pops, to name a few.

i have discovered that love is the best and worst thing we could ever be asked to do in life. and i have discovered that no matter how saving or how destroying it can be, i must have it to stay alive. i must have it to keep others alive. i have discovered that love can only enlarge us, and if it isn't, then it is not real love.

i have discovered many a thing yet to be discovered...

"everything is blooming most recklessly; if it were voices instead of colors, there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night." -rainer maria rilke-

i have discovered that everything is blooming most recklessly... and i love it.